Train wreck 

imageI have been waiting here for a while now for a train that seems like it is never coming. It gives me too much time to think. Looking at the tracks and seeing the marks left behind reminds me of the places I have been. Despite the chaos, I keep searching for something. Something to set my mind free. It makes me sad to know that a lot of people end their lives in the very place that I come to seek my transport into another realm of my existence. I am very tired. So many options, yet so little control over their outcome. Wishes blow into the wind. Tears wash away in the rain. When will the sun come out? I have been in these shadows way too long. As soon as this train comes I have to decide whether to jump into it or right in front of it. Instant gratification. I am still waiting. I have made my mind up and I know this is the way. I am ready but then an announcement comes over the loud speaker. It says that service has been cancelled due to a derailment. What could have happened?
It was not meant to be. It was not my time.  Maybe someone else beat me to it. Someone else had it worse than me.  My worries could not possibly supersede someone else’s expiration date. I am so blessed, which is what I should have realized before I allowed these crazy ideas to hijack my mind. Never again will I place myself in a situation where I think I could take matters into my own hands. Time will tell and heal me. This train wreck symbolizes my life in a sense that I must move forward despite what has been broken. I will just wear my experiences as these tracks wear their marks and keep pushing forward to my next destination. My purpose isn’t to try to make sense of it all, but rather it is to share my story along my journey.

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