What we had as one, to me, was a once in a lifetime opportunity to get what you always dreamed of.
I did not want to let it go, but, yes, I had to let it go.
I do not deny that I miss him but first I have to remember him, to miss him.
I should not have to miss him.
I should not have to forgive him, simply because we should be together.
I do not feel as though I have to fight constantly for his love, an undefeated battle.
I have chosen to lose that battle and start right back at eh beginning where I was before I was his.
Now I start new and now things are not the same and my heart is stronger than ever.
You wanted freedom, you wanted occasional intimacies with me, and you wanted no questions. Well you have got the wrong fool.
You want too much for too little. I gave you true love. You gave me counterfeit admiration.
Admiration versus true love, there is my lost battle.
You gave me lies, I gave you honesty.
Lies versus honesty, another lost battle.
You gave me constant heartaches, I gave you constant happiness.
Constant heartaches versus constant happiness, last battle defeated.
I do not have it in me to stay.
You understand now how much it was always a battle of how things were and how they should have been.
You probably still do not comprehend but you will one day and you will realize that what I felt for you was true and that you got what you wanted.
One day, you will realize that your stupidities drove me away.
It has been a long enough ride.
My intentions toward you are, were, and will always be for your own good.
I finally have the strength to let you just go and be happy.
I lost the love of my life.
You lost the person that was stopping you from being yourself.
Stay true to yourself, by yourself.